Medical Update.....

In two days I will be receiving my 13th chemo treatment out of a total of 16. 

My last chemo is the 19th of January.  In September that date seemed really far away.  I was scared!  I had a vision of what chemo would do to me and although it hasn't been easy it has been better then I ever expected. 

 There is a huge part of me that is scared to end chemo.  I have made relationships with the nurses in the infusion room.  I have become comfortable with the process.  With what to expect when I walk in the front door. 

 I love the front desk person at the Redmond Cancer Center.  I should probably learn her name.  She has this awesome smile and she remembers my name.  Before I ever get to her desk, which is like 5 steps from the front door, she starts printing my hospital bracelet.  She chats with me and gave me a wonderful hug when I gave her a Christmas gift. From the front desk to my oncologist to the nurses I early feel uncomfortable in a situation that is really uncomfortable.  It's the small things right now that mean so much. 

 I have a pretty good idea of how I will feel each day.  Surgery is terrifying.  No part of me is ready for that and chemo ending means figuring out a whole knew set of feelings, mental and physically.

Infusion Center Christmas gifts.  Keeping Humans Alive was for the nurses and the live, laugh, love was for the reception people.  all equally important in my treatment.  

I have a Pre. Op. appointment with my surgeon on the 23rd of January and I was told that if my "numbers" are good with my blood work at the last chemo I will probably have surgery within 2 weeks of my last treatment.  Yesterday, I went to a place that is part store and part medical office.  I was able to get some information about prosthetic.  Apparently there is more then just one step to this whole prosthetic breast situation.  I will start with a soft tank top type thing that zips in the front and will hold my drain tubes. 

 Drain tubes.......WHAT?...... I have never had a surgery so serious that I had drain tubes.  That shall be interesting. 

Once I have the drain tubes removed I will have these softer prosthetic.  Once I fully heal I will move up to silicone prosthetic. 

 Who would have thought it's so many steps to the prosthetic world.  Of course this is all optional and I could go without breasts until I have reconstruction but at this point my brain cannot wrap it's self around going in public without.  I have had breasts 21 years and I'm not sure I have the confidence to not at least pretend.  I thought this about my hair also and really I could careless if I am in public without a hat these days.  So anything can change, and probably will.  

Well Back to chemo........

It has been going well.

 I am having some neuropathy but it comes and goes and so far hasn't caused me to many issues.  I walk funny when experiencing it in my toe.  If I am experiencing it in my fingers it becomes difficult to grip and they are really sore if I do anything with them. It is bearable though and could have be way worse.  

 I have also lost strength.  I have a hard time gripping.  I can't carry much without getting fatigued.   

The symptoms I am struggling with the most our sleep, neck and back issues. 

My neck is so uncomfortable most days.  I use the rice heating pad a lot to make it feel better.  My back is also causing me quite a bit of discomfort.  If I do much walking or standing it really sets in and I can't stand up later in the day.  Actually my whole body sort of shuts down once it starts hurting.  It's hard for me to move if I have worked it to much that day.  When I say to much I mean maybe a couple hours of activity.  

Sleeping is pretty much a joke these days.  I have tried a few different sleeping aids but nothing works that great.  My body just aches constantly.  I have tried putting a heating blanket in bed with me.  Which works temporarily but because my body can't regulate properly right now I quickly get to hot.  So it's a constant waking up, tossing and turning, heat on heat off.  So I am tired, exhausted, fatigued all day everyday.  I have learned to function though.  It's kind of like having a newborn.  You just figure out how to live life exhausted.  

Doesn't everyone use 4 different heating blanket/pad options while watching tv?

I have already started to get some interesting peach fuzz growing on my head.  It is really soft and we can't really tell what color it is.  In some light it looks blond, in others brown.  So that is exciting.  

Hard to see but it's there, I swear!

 At this point I think that is the most I can give for a medical update.  Changes are coming and ready or not I get to take them on.  That's pretty much cancer in a nutshell though.  I am lucky enough to have a friend remind me on the daily that this is all temporary!  So I keep that in mind when I want to get really upset about it all.  I also remind myself that others have disease that wont go away and they have to face the struggles everyday.  So I try and be grateful that I am facing one that is temporary (hopefully).  

As appointments come and go in the next  month I will try and give more frequent updates.