Gratitude

This is a must listen-I love music and this one really fits my post today

Gratitude

I preach this word all the time.  I tell my kids to be grateful, to not complain, but what does gratitude really mean?  

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as:  a feeling of appreciation or thanks. 

That just seems to simple for what I am feeling these days.  I can't even begin to tell everyone how much gratitude I have.  So many working hard to throw me fundraisers, the school I work for having week longs events and getting all the children involved.  It's an incredible experience to  feel this much love and support.  

Some days this fight is really lonely.  People know you are in pain but no one can truly grasp it (unless you have been through it) most days I can't even describe how my muscles ache.  I have so many "good days" that people forget that my definition of good has changed because that's the only option you have, or most days would be "bad".  People also don't know that I may have a smile on my face but it doesn't mean it was easy for me to get up that morning.  Most mornings are so difficult.  It's hard to talk yourself into getting out of bed when you're exhausted, when you hurt, and when you had to take a sleeping aid to even sleep in the first place.  So really many days of this fight are harder then they may appear, but with that said when I get to walk into my job and have teachers and children saying hi and asking me how I am doing I can't help but want to fight.  When I have the support of Blakelee's daycare, throwing me a huge, amazing event, and supporting her everyday I know that we are so loved and really not alone at all!  

To everyone who came out on Thursday I have so much gratitude for you.  People I haven't seen in years.  People who have fought there own battles, who have been out of town for months, who loved me as a child and still love me it was beyond incredible.  I couldn't even believe the love my girls and I had in one room.  Evergreen Academy- Redmond will always have a special place in my heart for throwing an event who brought all of these people together for me and my girls.  WE ARN'T ALONE and I was reminded of that on Thursday.  I was ready to step into chemo on Friday because I had been reminded that I am not alone in that chair.  I am far from alone and this means the world to me.  I may forget as time goes on but I know someone will remind me.  Another wonderful person will show up on our door step with food and a huge weighty will be lifted from my mind that I don't have to stand up any more that night because food is ready.  

We are so loved and I love all of you too!  Please enjoy my millions of pictures below of things we have been given and people who have reached out.  You are all amazing and we are so glad you are in our life!  

My aunts, my step mom, and co worker all painting just for me! 

The best of friends in the whole world!  Couldn't do this season of my life without you!

John and Shonna, you guys are amazing!  I love you both.  

Just another amazing thing for Blakelee and me from her teachers at Evergreen.

Michelle's men showing there love and support for me all the time!

My cousin's wife Julie sent me this photo yesterday.  This is my grandpa who passed away almost 2 years ago now.  He was a supporter of breast cancer before he would have ever known I would battle it.  I know if him and my grandma were still alive they would be on the for front of support.  loving me hard through all of this.  This picture made me miss him ever so much but I know him and my grandma are up there cheering me on with everyone else.  

Blakelee even has support!

Boston's friend made this for her in a care package after she was brave enough to talk about my cancer at school.  SHE HAS SUPPORT ALSO!

One of my first gifts- chemo bag.  Vickie, Ashley, Erin, and Karen.  It goes every week!  Thank you the blanket keeps me warm and the bag reminds me that I am thought about.  

Suggestion from a co worker who fought this battle 5 years ago.  THEY WORK!  the port flush is so gross.  You get this nasty taste in your mouth.  Life savers are perfect!

My village after a wonderful night they set up for me to learn about oils.  my safe place sits right here with these three women.  

From a class at my school 

Just one of the gifts from this little girl.  She goes to my school and her mom is a teacher there.  They have been amazing to me.  providing us meat for our freezer and wonderful cards all the time.  

My team at work is better then yours!  They all wore pumpkin hats in support of me on Halloween.  These hats were also made by a wonderful co worker not pictured.  She makes walking the halls on those tough days at school so worth it!

Someone I a hardly know read my blog and sent me these wonderful Lula Roe clothes.  UNBELIEVABLY GENEROUS!

These are just some of the amazing things and people that I have been apart of in the last 2 months.  So many have sent me gift cards and cards and donations and just know that even if it is not pictured here I am so grateful for it!  It's overwhelming and I have no words to truly describe what it all means.